Worried

I’m in uni now. I’m taking 19 credits to graduate early. I’m in my second semester at college and am set to graduate in May of ‘27 so I’m technically a sophomore.

I’m losing it and approaching burnout. I applied for an internship and, out of 56 other applicants, made it to the final interview with only one other girl. She got picked over me because we had similar enough qualifications and she was just older and closer to graduation than me. I was technically more qualified, had backing from other employees, and was told there’s nothing else I could’ve done other than being older. It’s frustrating. I started a student chapter in my first semester, we had speakers and I led workshops. I have certifications in Microsoft Office, have made s with CEO’s and other major people in the HR and Employee Benefits world. My club mates and I are planning on attending the SHRM conference later this month too. Budgeting, emailing, recruitment, organizing. It never ends. I do 30-50 hours of homework on top of classes each week. One class (72 assignments over the whole semester) takes up at least 15 of those hours, if not more. Another requires another 6-12 for the constant essays we have due. My research paper for my lab also takes time and I spend at least a few hours a week on micro Econ and more on learning the dumb vocabulary for business fundamentals. I’ve written three research papers about genetics and HGT in bacteria. I’ve also read now six full length novels for my Darwinian Revolution class. I hated them all and I’m sick and tired of origin of species.

I’m tired.

I also had severe pneumonia at the start of the semester too. I was at risk of permanent brain damage due to low oxygen apparently. Half one one and majority of the other lung was infected. I could barely walk anywhere and I missed 3 weeks of class. I wasn’t allowed to make up quite a few things and the other things I was only given about 10 days to make up upon my return. I’ve managed to maintain mainly A and B grades fortunately but I’m disappointed bc I ended last semester with a 3.67 gpa and this semester is going to drop it.

I’m not working but if I were, I think I’d want to kms so I need to keep my gpa up to keep my scholarships.

Family issues also suck. Newly divorced parents and guilt for leaving my brother behind to go out of state for college don’t go well together.

Now I’ve found out that my parents aren’t coming to pick me up and I need to find my own way back home. They haven’t visited once.

I’m burnt out and tired and I’m terrified of letting my grades slip these last few, essential, weeks of school.