A coming out story

I couldn't find the blog button for five minutes. I still dislike this new update. With that said, let's get started. Be warned, it's a little long.

So I'm in the Writing Village Amino, and I was in a lovely little chat because I was having issues with a fanfiction. Well, I ended up talking so someone and we kinda clicked. (She is now one of my best friends.) So one day we were talking, and she said that her first impression of me was a middle-aged gay male. I thought this was one of the funniest thing EVER, because I am non of the above.

  So well, I said if anything, I would be Bi. Well, that little joke turned into an actual question. I thought about it for a few days and then I came to the conclusion that I, indeed, was Bi.

So after about a week after I came to my conclusion, my cousin(She is Female, Straight, 18+) and I were talking in the kitchen.

My cousin said something along the lines of "guys are jerks, get yourself a good man," And I just kinda slid a comment into the conversation, I said "Good thing I have flexibility!"

  At first she was confused, and she said "What do you mean?" I replied "I think I'm Bi." And instead of brushing it off, or saying "cool" and then moving on. She asked me a question.

"Why?"

Lemme tell you, I didn't like that question. I did ask myself why I liked females, and so I gave her my answer: "I'm more comfortable around females, and I don't feel like I have to be someone that's not me." We had a small conversation afterwards.

Well, I'm a young teen in 2018, I'm going to be on my phone a lot. So I had been on my phone all day, and My cousin (let's call her N) and I were making a small grocery trip. She asked me why I was on my phone all day, I replied with, "I was looking for ways to come out." (I was being honest.)

She asked me about it (my sexuality) again, and questioned me though the whole store.

So after shopping, she basically held me hostage in her car till we had a conversation. She told me that

A. I should talk to her and my uncle first, before coming out to my parents.

B. I needed to have /sexual interaction/ (i.e be in a relationship and experience being with someone before I decided something like this.)

C. It shouldn't be a top priority for me at the moment.

   After that happened I was uncomfortable around her. I couldn't even be in the same room for fear she, or I, would say something.

So I talked to my online bff again and she said I just needed to breath. At the time I was hiding upstairs in my bathtub. (Don't judge, I didn't have any good places in mind at the time.)

So I'm in my bathtub on the verge of tears.

I just wanted to stop thinking about it. If it was going to cause me this much emotional pain, I didn't want anything to do with it.

I physically told my bff (Let's call her Y) that I would drown out all these thoughts with my schooling. (I'm homeschooled.) So I tried to act normal around N again. It didn't really work though. She saw something was wrong with me so she annoyed me to the point where I texted her what was wrong. So I explained it to her and we haven't mentioned it sense, and that's okay for me.

Now my brothers on the other hand

One night the three of us were playing cards in the kitchen while we were waiting for the dishwasher to finish so we could do our thing before bed.

Well, I asked them, "What would you guys think of I had a girlfriend?"

The younger one said "That would be weird."

I replied "What if she was SUPER nice?"

He said it would still be weird.

So I moved on to the older one.

"What about you?" I asked.

He said the only thing I needed to hear.

"Well, first I would l would congratulate you on not being alone anymore. And I wouldn't really care, it's up to you."

Lemme tell ya, that was what I was looking for the whole time.

Minus his sassy comment. Lol.

Anyways, thanks for reading this. That's been my experience so far. I'm currently back to questioning my sexuality and gender again, this time in a positive way. (For the most part, I've had more issues lately though.) I wish the one/first person I chose to come out to was more ive and not asking as many questions.

I'm really bad at goodbyes, so I guess I will see you later.

Please let me know if you have any questions, advice, or just comments in general.

Thanks again!